I know in my head that my daughter watches everything I do. I know in my heart the fruits of the Spirit. I know in my head that my daughter hears my tone and sees my body language. I know in my heart that sometimes neither my tone, my actions or my body language reflect Jesus or His grace at all.
I could easily list off a myriad of reasons as to why I fail over and over again. I could blame my upbringing or the enemy. Ya know the famous saying, “the devil made me do it.” I could give reasons that are out of my control, or in my control, but I let my emotions get the better of me. But the truth is that sometimes I’m a crappy Christian mom.
And you know what the worst part of it all. It’s not that the devil made me do anything. He doesn’t have that much power, but it’s that he starts to feed me lies. He manipulates my heart and mind into thinking I’m always a crappy Christian mom.
He takes my moments of weakness and tells me I’m failing.
He takes my moments of doubt and convinces me I must be doing it all wrong because sometimes my sweet four-year-old can be really mean so she must be learning it from me.
He takes my moments of anger and frustration and urges my heart that I will never be able to change my ways to be like the other moms who never lose their cool.
Here’s a few of my confessions as a
sometimes crappy Christian mom:
Sometimes I lose my temper.
Sometimes I raise my voice and yell.
Sometimes I am no where close to being gentle, kind, and patient, much less any of the other fruits of the Spirit.
Sometimes I talk unkindly about others, instead of only saying things that lift them up.
Sometimes I want to scream and cry and throw things because I get so frustrated and overwhelmed. (Thankfully I don’t do the latter.)
Sometimes I have to hit my knees and weep because I feel so broken and defeated by motherhood.
This is where we meet Jesus friends. On our knees in complete surrender.
Have you ever been there?
Let’s look at 1 Peter 5:8-11 “Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him. standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings. And the glory of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a while, will Himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To Him be the power for ever and ever. Amen.”
Here’s what stands out to me at this moment: (one of my favorite things about scripture is how Jesus shows me new and different things in various seasons!)
- We are commanded to be self-controlled and alert. It’s not a recommendation, it’s a command. We have to actively anticipate satan’s attacks, and be ready to fight back (vs. 8).
- The devil knows our weaknesses, and lies in wait for us to feel at our lowest and most vulnerable, then he attacks (vs. 8).
- The only way we can stand firm is with our faith in Jesus (vs. 9). We fight back with Truth. This can be achieved by memorizing scripture so you can say it over and over until you feel peace in your heart. (A great memory verse is James 4:7-8)
- There are other mamas, just like me, who struggle too in their motherhood. Motherhood is hard, and I’m not the only one who thinks so (vs. 9).
- Jesus Himself will renew and restore me. My suffering always brings me back to Him, at His feet, completely surrendered with my arms and heart wide open. I know He allows suffering and hardship because if it wasn’t hard I wouldn’t need Him (vs. 10).
I wanna encourage you today that no matter how many times you’ve had to restart the day, no matter how bad yesterday went, Jesus is with you. He’s with me. Offer up a simple prayer of thanksgiving and a plea for His help.
He will hear you.
For more encouragement through scripture, I teamed up with Amy from Far Better Things and she created a coloring sheet as well as 4 mini prints that you can tape up to remind you of God’s Truth during your day.
Download your copy HERE!
I’d love to know what is your favorite way to seek Truth in the midst of a hard day in Motherhood?!
In Him, Tamara