Marriage is a lot of fun, work, and energy (and a whole bunch of other things) all rolled into one. We know from God’s Word that marriage is God’s creation and gift to us, but it is also a picture of how Jesus loves the Church (believers.) One way to love your spouse is to intentionally serve your spouse.
There are so many stories in the Bible where Jesus is teaching us to serve one another. He taught us by doing it Himself.
“For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and give His life as a ransom for many.” Mark 10:45
So what happens when we take God’s gift of marriage, and apply Jesus’ teachings about serving? We find that our spouse is not the one that gets our leftovers. They should get our first and best (well after God, that is!)
What I mean is that we should strive everyday to out serve each other in our marriage. Not in a competitive, “I’m doing better at this than you,” but with a joyful heart that truly wants to serve and get nothing in return.
We should intentionally be looking for ways to help our spouse out. Is there a task that obviously needs to get done? Can you start a load of laundry? Is there something your spouse always “handles” that you could easily do so they don’t have to?
A tool we use is to simply ask each other the question: “How can I serve you today?”
From a woman’s perspective, the world tells us we need to handle “all the things.” That we shouldn’t need help. We should be able to run our households smoothly so our husbands can go to work and come home to a clean house and dinner on the table. However, marriage is about teamwork, sharing each other’s burdens, and building a home that cultivates joy and service for each other.
This may take a little getting used to, and it may be really hard to think of something to answer with. But, it is effective in discovering a tangible way to serve your spouse with something they truly need.
You can start out small. Perhaps your first answer shouldn’t be “paint the house.” Be simple in your answers, but specific. “You could take the trash out for me.” “You could make me a homemade treat,” etc.
This has been such a blessing in our marriage because it gives us a great opportunity to not only serve each other, but to purposefully bless one another in a way that our spouse specifically communicated they needed.
Do you and your spouse ask each other specific questions every day?! We’d love to hear what works for you!
Did this resonate with you? If so, try asking your spouse this question for a week, and see how it blesses your marriage! We would love to hear how it goes!
In His love, Kason and Tamara
Image by Alyse French Photography
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